1. barnvs:


    Do you think Steve will ever forgive himself for the fact that when he was the one falling, Bucky jumped?


    (via -iopenattheclose)

  2. …she will grow into a woman far more beautiful than I ever was.

    (Source: martinsllydia, via -iopenattheclose)

  3. caliphorniaqueen:

    This is still great

    (Source: best-of-memes, via -iopenattheclose)

  4. So my professor was asking questions.

    1. Professor: Who plans on getting married within the next 5-10 years?
    2. Like 3 people: *raises hand*
    3. Professor: Who plans on never getting married?
    4. Me: *raises hand*
    5. Professor: *points me out* why?
    6. Me: It's illegal.
    7. Professor: touche.
  5. Anonymous said: you tell crazy stories but has a woman ever tried to kill you ?




    This one girl accused me of cheating for having female friends (which i wasnt fucking or flirting with but was just cool friends I dont wanna talk to a bunch of niggas all day i need a female perspective on things) she was screaming at me for 20 mins straight

    i dont argue back cause im laid back im just like mhmmm mhmmm looking in my phone checking sports scores and on twitter … so at one point she says “was the pussy atleast good my nigga?” i was like “mmhmm that shit was nice and tight”  all of a sudden i heard silence i look up shes like


    *this is the moment where i knew i fucked up*

    just looks at me like that for like 20 seconds “im like bae im just playing.. im just playing…”  she runs to the kitchen… and starts going in the drawers “im like shawty u needa chill”   im like “im just playing”

    she pulls something out all i see was the light beam reflect off it

    i get a good look i see this in her hand

    im in the couch like

    she starts running towards me so i open the door step outside then shut the door from the outside and use all my body weight to hold onto the door knob, She used to run track in highschool so i think she gon catch me so im like nah im not even gon run and get stabbed in the spine

    she pulling tryna open it lol im in a project type building on the 12th floor man I was standing there for 43 mins shorty aint have an ounce of quit in her. People walking by laughing hearing her screaming at me

    some middle aged lady walked by she was like 50 she was like “mmmmhmmm she caught your ass didnt she”

    im like “ma’am help my arms tired”

    she was like ahaaa nope “call that bitch you was fucking for help”  and walked into her apt

    then shorties mom came out the elevator i was like thank god.. she was like oh lord what u do.. i was like “nothingg ma’am she got a knife i swear i did nothing ” her mom was like “kita put the damn knife down im coming in if u stab me imma beat your ass” i feel the pressure get off the door and i make a run for it i see her try to come chase me but her mom blocks her Im sure i coulda beat usain bolt in a race the way i was running

    she was really gon stab me, If her moms aint come i woulda still been standing there holding the door to this day

    i’ve never re-blogged something so quick in my life. 

    I fuckin love tumblr stories

  6. potterbird:

    Daniel Radcliffe for Essential Homme Magazine by Kevin Sinclair.

    (via poehleriffic)

  7. sarcastic-snowflake:

    So every morning I get off the train and start my 20 minute walk to work, and there’s this guy who’s always like 3 steps ahead of me and always beats me to the street corner bc I get stopped by the light and he passes it. but today I was ahead of him for the first time and he RUNS in front of me, turns around and goes “I’ve been winning for 2 months now, can’t stop now, have a good day, see you tomorrow.”  tmrw I swear i’m wearing running shoes to work. 

    (via -iopenattheclose)

  8. (Source: wenchyfloozymoo, via nebranska)

  9. kili-fili-and-frilly:

    And for all these reasons, I’ve decided to scalp you, and burn your village to the ground.


    (Source: goslinger, via calysto1395)

  10. awkwardvagina:

    truly an amazing sight (x)

    (via -iopenattheclose)

  11. marauders4evr:









    Some of these are real good, gonna have to try them. 

    I love this

    And for #7, make sure its like Febreeze or something. Then the room will smell pretty

    These kids get 5 dollars from the tooth fairy? I only ever got from 25 cents to a dollar.

    To be honest I was expecting these to get really dark and be like “cut out their tongue so they won’t scream at night” or something so I’m glad this didn’t turn out like I thought it would

    u ok sarah

    reblogging for that comment

    at first i was gonna reblog this for any followers who gotta deal with babies but that comment made it ten times better

    Every one of these looks great except the hammock. That looks like a concussion waiting to happen.

    (via calysto1395)

  12. femsteve:

    fancast: stephanie beatriz as america chavez

    (via tonystarks)

  14. put-him-in-custardy:

    this is how Parks and Recreation explained Chris Pratt’s weight loss for Guardians of the Galaxy 

    (via vilsa)

  15. angels-of-porn:


new zealand’s finest

Why do I live here 



    new zealand’s finest

    Why do I live here 

    (via vilsa)